6 Activities for Stepmom Mental Health
Worry Time
As stepmoms we carry a lot on our hearts. Maybe you’re worried about an upcoming court date, whether the ex will let the kids come home, or about your stepkid’s grades. Whatever it is, it’s important to make space and really attend to our worries and anxieties. If we let them take over, we end up ruminating and feeling out of control. This may seem silly, but I promise it’s effective. Here’s what you do…
When you find yourself becoming anxious about the “what ifs” - set a timer. Give yourself 10-15 minutes, get a pen and paper, or even use your phone’s voice memos… GET IT OUT. Ask yourself what is in your control, and where you can practice acceptance. Problem solve. No solution? LET IT GO. When the timer is up…. take a deep breath and release the worry.
Talking About Feelings
Make it a habit to discuss your feelings with your partner. Either allow it to happen organically, or schedule a time every week to really sit and share how you really are. My husband and I have our chats Sunday nights. We share how our week went, what the coming week looks like, if there’s any unresolved issues and what we can do better to support one another. The more aware you are of you and your partner’s feelings, the less the little stresses of life build up. You will have more understanding, more patience and more connection.
Wellbeing
This isn’t about health goals - though if you have them, great! This is about basic needs. Are you sleeping enough? Are you drinking enough water? Check your posture. Unclench your jaw. Eating something green every day? Are you moving your body? Even a short walk or a little stretching can make a big difference in your mental health.
If it feels overwhelming to tend to these things - start small and create a routine. I struggle drinking enough water so it helps me to have water bottles everywhere. I have one in my car, at my desk and a water jug I carry around at home. That’s the ONLY way it will happen. Find what works for you and make it happen - your wellbeing matters.
Thought Challenging
This is different than Worry Time. Thought Challenging is when you take the unproductive, unhelpful and negative thoughts and reframe them into more realistic and helpful ones.
Example:
“I am unimportant to my partner because they’ve already been married/had a child with someone else.”
Reframed: “My partner chose me because I am amazing. Our future together is special and though I was not the first, I know I am the last.”
When you are having this unwanted thoughts - get out a piece of paper and write it out. Then challenge yourself to reframe it in a more realistic way. We can spend time belittling and bumming ourselves out, or we can take control over our thoughts - up to you. 😘
3 Good Things
There’s power in gratitude. When you find yourself only seeing the negative, take a moment and say 3 good things. Did you just say something mean to yourself? Now give yourself 3 compliments. Noticing something irritating about your stepkid? Say 3 things you appreciate about them - maybe even tell them. Try it- see how it feels.
Activity Planning
This is different than just saying “Self Care” because this implies ACTION. Plan when you’ll get dinner with your best friend. Plan when you’ll go to the spa, or just sit in bed with snacks and Netflix. You can say you’re going to do something for you - but if it’s not on the calendar it’s easy for other’s to take your time. Make your time a priority and protect it as if your mental health depends on it - because it does.
It is truly the little things that can make the biggest impact on your mental health, but we have to be intentional.
What are you already doing? What can you try today?
